Archive for the ‘Weird News Stories’ category

No Cake for Hitler

December 17, 2008

Heath Campbell, left, with his wife Deborah and son Adolf Hitler, 3, pose in Easton, Pa.,, Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2008. Deborah and her husband Heath attempted to by a birthday cake for their son at a near by ShopRite supermarket in Greenwich, N.J. and were told that the store would not inscribe Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler on the cake. The Campbell's also have two daughters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie.

EASTON, Pa.—A supermarket is defending itself for refusing to a write out 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell’s name on his birthday cake.

Deborah Campbell, 25, of nearby Hunterdon County, N.J., said she phoned in her order last week to the Greenwich ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son’s name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.

Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman, said the store denied similar requests from the Campbells the last two years, including a request for a swastika.

“We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate,” Meleta said. “We considered this inappropriate.”

The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said Tuesday.

Wal-Mart spokeswoman Anna Taylor told The Easton Express-Times that the store won’t put anything illegal or profane on a cake but thinks it’s important to respect the views of customers and employees.

“Our No. 1 priority in decorating cakes is to serve the customer to the best of our ability,” Taylor said from Bentonville, Ark.

When reached by The Associated Press, Taylor said she’d call back to provide a comment.

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because “no one else in the world would have that name.”

The Campbells’ two other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, who will be 1 in April.

Campbell said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently.

“Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That’s fine, I don’t really care,” he said. “That’s his choice.”

He said about 12 people attended the birthday party on Sunday, including several children of mixed race.

WTF?  Why would any parent, I don’t care how racist or drunk they might be, name their child after the world’s most well-known Genocidal Dictator?

“Campbell said he was rasied not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically”  Does that mean he should romantically mix with gangly white chicks with fangled teeth and sweaters commonly worn by the Huxtable Family?  As a matter of fact, judging by the dental simliarities, they may be brother and sister.

Is it me or does he have an eerie resemblance to our favorite Outsider, Ponyboy?

You know you’re the worst US President when…

December 14, 2008

Holy crap!  That’s it, officially the worst President ever.  It’s not, “Who does that,” but “Who get’s shoes thrown at them?!”

Wisconsin Puts Hex On Favre

September 24, 2008

It looks like Pastor Jeff Casper is the reason for Brett Favre and the Jets’ demise.  I’d be willing to bet that this church has daily voodoo sessions, with the goal of making Brett’s life miserable.  I tip my cap to the fine folks of the Waupun Assembly of God.  Well played indeed!

Palin’s Kid’s Dentist is The Fugitive!

September 5, 2008
Dr. Curt Menard, Gov. Sarah Palin's family friend and childhood dentist, looks over her high school yearbook.

Dr. Curt Menard, Gov. Sarah Palin

WASILLA, Alaska (CNN) — It was the night before Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was to accept the Republican vice presidential nomination in a nationally televised speech, and Becky Moore couldn’t sleep a wink.

She paced around her room and prayed before sending Palin an e-mail wishing her good luck.

“I was so nervous for her,” said Moore, a dietitian who lives in Palin’s hometown of Wasilla. “I felt like she was my relative, like she was about to prove herself to the country.”

As much as Moore was hoping for the best, there was a part of her that didn’t want to share her governor and former mayor with the lower 48, a term Alaskans use to refer to their distant countrymen with a mix of playfulness and disdain.

“No matter what happens, we win. If she becomes vice president, the rest of the country will see what a great leader she is. If she loses, we get her back,” Moore said.

Ok, so this article from CNN was brought to my attention by a friend.  Bla, Bla, Bla.  We’ve heard and read enough about the new Vice Presidential hottie to last us another 4 terms.  But Wait!!!  Did you see that dude’s arm?  What mother in her right mind, would subject her child to a dental examination by Dr. Giggles?!?!?!  Heck with the baby’s mama dramas, this is one of those moral lapses in judgement that makes me feel queesy about the possibility of this woman running the country if McCain kicks the bucket!!

Fishy Story

August 22, 2008

ELKIN, N.C.—David Hayes’ granddaughter just ask him to hold her Barbie rod and reel while she went to the bathroom. He did. And seconds later he landed the state record channel catfish at 21 pounds, 1 ounce.

Alyssa’s father had bought the pink Barbie fishing rod for Christmas and she had caught a few bluegill before her grandfather hauled in the catfish.

The Winston-Salem Journal reported the catch Aug. 5 in eastern Wilkes County has been certified as a record by the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission.

Hayes and his granddaughter have been fishing in the pond behind his house since she was big enough to hold a pole.

Hayes said his granddaughter worried he would break her rod. He landed the 21-pound fish on a 6-pound test line. It was 32 inches long, 2 inches longer than the rod.


Ok, I don’t know which is worse.  The Bigfoot Hoax or this fat redneck claiming to have caught a 21lb catfish, with the cheap K-Mart BlueLight Special fishing rod that he bought for his grandkid.  Reasons why this story is bullshit (plus a couple of observations):

  • Look at him, he’s about to have a heart attack from just holding the fish, do you really think he could real it it with a REAL rod?
  • Look at the Barbie Rod!!!  Are you kidding me? That thing wouldn’t withstand the strain of a goldfish!
  • The kid’s been fishing since she was old enough to hold a pole?  Seriously, she was born big enough.
  • The 6lb test claim.  Thanks to my Bros at http://www.brotherhood-of-catfisherman.com, I found that you can’t even step into the ring with a catfish, if your rod’s equipped with a 6lb test.  Minimum line for a fish of its size would be 20-25lbs, at the very least

Oh well, whatever.  Weigh in on this one.  What do you think? Hoax or B.S.

Debbie Does Nova Scotia, Eh?

August 18, 2008
Uh, Do We Still Get The Spice Channel, Eh?

Hey Hoser, Do We Still Get The Spice Channel, cuz no one asked my opinion, eh?

TORONTO (Reuters) – Canadians who may have become tired of being passed over as porn stars will have a new, home-grown outlet to showcase their erotic talents.

Federal regulators have granted Alberta-based Real Productions approval to launch a new digital pornography channel, which promises to serve up at least 50 percent domestic content.

The Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) approved the Category 2 pay-television service on Wednesday, allowing Northern Peaks to become “Canada’s first adult video channel offering significant Canadian adult content.”

“I think as Canadians there is a bit of a tiredness in seeing all American stuff,” Shaun Donnelly, president of Real Productions, said during an interview on Friday.

“There is always that thrill for something that is local and you get the sense that these are people you can meet at the supermarket.”

The CRTC only required 15 percent Canadian content, but Northern Peaks agreed to provide “not less than 50 percent of the broadcast day and not less than 50 percent of the evening broadcast period to Canadian programming,” according to the license.

“We want to be Canada’s adult channel and I think to do that, 15 percent wouldn’t cut it,” Donnelly said.

Real Productions boasts the largest collection of Canadian adult-themed content in the country with more than 200 film titles and 75 television episodes in its library.

Talk about a way to improve/restore the morale and pride of an entire country!  Let them bang on TV!  Is there a reason that more pornstars aren’t from our neighbors above us?  From what I hear, they have the best strip clubs around.  There’s got to be some kind of Canadian Skin Flick Talent pool?

My favorite part of the article is that the guy seriously feels that Pornstars are people you can meet at the Supermarket.  How does THAT happen?  What, is there a PornActorsGuild Meeting in the bread aisle?  That’d give a a whole new meaning to “Clean up on aisle 7!”

Trump Saves Ed McMahon

August 15, 2008

BEVERLY HILLS, California (AP) — Donald Trump will soon be Ed McMahon’s landlord.

Donald Trump says he plans to buy Ed McMahon's mansion, saving it from foreclosure.

Donald Trump says he plans to buy Ed McMahon’s mansion, saving it from foreclosure.

Trump announced Thursday he would save the television personality’s Beverly Hills mansion from foreclosure by buying it for an undisclosed amount and leasing it to McMahon.

The developer told the Los Angeles Times he doesn’t know McMahon personally, but acted out of compassion because helping out “would be an honor.”

McMahon, 85, who was Johnny Carson’s sidekick on the “Tonight” show for three decades, has not worked for about 18 months because of a neck injury. He defaulted on $4.8 million in mortgage loans with Countrywide Financial Corp.

McMahon’s spokesman, Howard Bragman, told The Associated Press that paperwork on the sale had not been completed but that McMahon was “very optimistic” the deal would go through.

“When I was at the Wharton School of Business I’d watch him every night,” Trump told the Times. “How could this happen?”

McMahon bought the six-bedroom, five-bathroom, 7,000-square-foot house in January 1990. The home was listed at $4.6 million last weekend — down from a peak price of $7 million.

Will Donald Trump turn into a celebrity debt consolidator?  Just like those guys you see on daytime TV in between Judge Judy and Divorce Court.  God damn it.  Call me cold hearted, but McMahon should go through this like a man.  Jump on food stamps and Medicaid like the majority of his Publisher’s Clearing House participants.  Hell, maybe he should start entering is own damn sweepstakes!